


Journal of Feelings

by volleydorks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Diary/Journal, Fluff, M/M, You Should Have Come to Shiratorizawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-04 01:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12760026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleydorks/pseuds/volleydorks
Summary: In a bid to get Oikawa to forgive him for his selfish actions, Ushijima creates a 'Feelings Journal' under the guidance of Semi.





	Journal of Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Shiratorizawa Quest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11985216) by [volleydorks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleydorks/pseuds/volleydorks). 



> I do not own any of the pictures used here. This is from my other fic 'The Shiratorizawa Quest'. I've added pictures in this one, whereas in the other one it's just text.  
> (If you're on a phone, it may be difficult to read this with the images included.)

Oikawa Tooru. This is one of the first pictures I ever took of you. You saw me waiting for you outside of your school and you got irritated at me. You yelled out, “Ew, it’s the ace of Shittytorizawa” and stuck your middle finger up at me for some reason. Iwaizumi came up to you and put an arm around your shoulder, telling you to calm down and he took you away. The only word that can describe my feelings at that moment is **frustrated face**. But, I am still fond of the moments leading up to this picture. My grandfather had sent me a brand new camera after I had expressed that I wanted to catch more pictures of everyday farm life the next time I got to go down to his farm. But, upon hearing that you would be finishing early on a Monday, I could not stop myself from hurrying all the way down to your school, Aoba Johsai. I had weaved my way past crowds of people and endured the shouts of “Seijoh is better than you!” as I made it further and further into uncharted territory. And then you walked out, your blue Aoba Johsai shirt brighter than the sky. (It would have looked better if it was a purple Shiratorizawa shirt.) Your muscles rippled beneath your shirt as you walked out with a serene smile on your face. You were set against the sky, as if you belonged there. You were not blocking the scenery. You were the scenery. It was at that moment I realised just how much Shiratorizawa needs you. And so, I snapped this picture, just as you saw me. I went home that day, with a new resolve. A new purpose. That purpose was to bring you back home to Shiratorizawa.

During our next practice match, I was able to catch your attention. Tendou was kind enough to stand by and take this shot for me, although he put something called a ‘filter’ on it. It is fairly annoying, since I would have liked to admire how the colours you wear suit you so well. I included this picture because it somewhat amuses me whenever I think back to this moment. I asked you to come to Shiratorizawa, and you said ‘You’re really trying to box me into a corner, aren’t you?’ but I had not been trying to. I thought you wanted me to, so I boxed you into a corner using my arms and legs and you started shrieking for some reason. Being so close to you, it made me realise things I had never noticed before. For instance, I realised how nice you would look with the Shiratorizawa purple contact lenses. Or how the Shiratorizawa purple cap would suit your hair so well. I also noticed that you had eaten onion prior to the practice match. Perhaps, a Shiratorizawa purple mint might have helped you out. Maybe some Shiratorizawa floss, too. After you stopped shrieking, you tackled me to the ground and began to pinch my cheeks until our coaches found us. Perhaps that is why my coach does not believe that we need you on our team.

But I do.

 

 

In this shot, you were angry at me. This is a recent picture. Yesterday, you spotted me in the bushes, waiting for you outside of the convenience store. I can still feel your anger whenever I look at this picture. In the way you narrow those eyes, in the way your lip juts out in irritation. Your face looks different to the first picture, where you were laughing at me. Now, you are angry at me. It is a shame, a shame that I can capture your anger with more clarity than I can your happiness. But your laugh and smiles are locked within my mind, unable to travel the short distance from brain to paper. Now that you have passed on, I will never be able to reach you again. Perhaps… I deserve it. Semi has helped me to understand what you are feeling. I destroyed your reputation because of my desire to bring you to Shiratorizawa. And while I will not stop trying to bring you to the place I feel you belong, I understand why you are angry at me.

 

 

I am not good at understanding feelings, Oikawa. I have been told that by many people. Outside of volleyball and farming, I am not easy to understand. But Oikawa, I would like to understand you. I would like to know what makes you tick. Why you like milk bread so much. Why you like musicals, oranges, what inspires you to play volleyball. I would like to know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. What makes you smile, and what makes you angry like you are in this picture. Although, I suppose anyone would be angry if they had their clothes destroyed by farm animals. Personally, I would be flattered by it, but Semi says that I’m not normal. I do not know what he means by that, but he has more of a chance at guessing your feelings than I do. I am not entirely sure anymore. But even if you do not want to come to Shiratorizawa, I need you to hear me out.

 

 

P.S: This is my favourite picture of you, Oikawa. Glasses suit you well.

 

 

P.P.S: I drew a prototype of what you would look like if you were to come back home to Shiratorizawa. I spent four hours and thirteen minutes drawing this. I hope you like it.

P.P.P.S: I will be sad if you lost the Shiratorizawa jacket I gave you. It was my only spare.

P.P.P.P.S: Sad face.


End file.
